Alive
by soft-bellatrix
Summary: Hermione leaves Hogwarts to take care of her parents. She then has to go back to the Magical world after a few years away and has to find a job. Who will give her a job and will she find herself again after being lost for so long?


When I was younger and going to Hogwarts, I always imagined I'd graduate and get a job at the Ministry or maybe even become a professor at Hogwarts, but when I was suddenly pulled out of school in the sixth year, I let all of those dreams die. My father was sick and my mom had to keep working to pay for his medical bills; she needed me home to take care of him. I know my mom hated making me put my life on hold, but I never resented her. I would do anything for my parents.

For a while I straddled the magical and muggle world hoping that I could find a magical way to cure my father, but after a couple years of talking to every Healer who would give me the time of day and even more doctors, I finally realized that there was nothing I could do to save my father. He had an aggressive form of Alzheimer's and magical brains develop differently and are never at risk for such diseases and muggles have never found a cure.

Once I finally realized that nothing from either world could help my father, I grew angry and cut myself off from everything and everyone, except for my parents. It wasn't hard, I never had very many friends. I used to be decent friends with Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, but last I heard, they went on some world saving adventure with Fleur Delacour. I had grown apart from them even before I left Hogwarts; I was worried about my studies and I think they already knew about this mission they had to undertake and were too busy planning to care about me anymore. It was better that way. No attachments.

The only person who still tries to reach out to me is Minerva McGonagall. Her last sixteen letters lay unopened on my desk, the most recent just a couple weeks old. I do miss her, she was the best mentor I could have ever had, but it's too hard to read about what I'm missing.

Everything is too hard right now.

Father passed a couple days ago. It feels like a dream. Mom keeps telling me to move on with my life. She says I need to think about getting a job or going back to school. I know she cares and just wants me to have the life I used to dream of, but I can't face going back.

* * *

I'm living life in a daze right now, the passage of time doesn't make sense to me. Each day I lay in my bed nearly the whole day. Mother yells, she's starting to drink, we don't recognize each other anymore. I don't know how long it's been since Father died; it feels like it happened yesterday, but there's snow on the ground. I think it was warm when he died, but I don't really remember.

* * *

I came home from going to the store for my mother and found most of my stuff boxed up. She told me I had a few options, I can go back to school in either world or I could get a job in either world. I couldn't stay in bed doing nothing anymore. I didn't feel anything when she told me this. I haven't felt anything in a while.

I finally caved and opened up the letters from McGonagall. I didn't know what else to do, but after staring at them for a few hours, I remembered the objective, thorough person I used to be. If I have to make a decision, I was going to consider every possibility. All the letters were essentially the same. She wants me to come back to the magical world. Did I want to go back?

After a few more days of deliberation and looking at jobs and colleges in the muggle world, I finally realized that I would never be happy here again. I didn't know that I would be happy in the magical world either, but the small chance that I could be happy again had me writing a letter to McGonagall.

* * *

I discovered that it's February, if I decided to go back to Hogwarts, I couldn't do so until September. Mother told me that she loved me, but I couldn't waste away until September and that I needed to get back into my world and find a job for the next few months. She gave me enough money to find an apartment while I'm job hunting, at least. I know she's getting me out of the house because she loves me, but sometimes it's hard to remember that. I just wanted to keep living the way I had been, I wasn't ready to move on.

* * *

McGonagall came and picked me up because I never took my apparition test. She side-along apparated me to Diagon Alley. It was unnerving to be back in the magical world, it seemed so much louder and brighter than I remembered. Most of the day was a blur of overstimulation, but McGonagall caught me up on what I had missed in the land of wizards and witches, a lot apparently. She showed me a few places that might be good for a short term job and set me up in the Leaky Cauldron for a couple nights while I find an apartment. I was grateful that she didn't press too much on my life, she was tactful enough to do most of the talking while I reacclimate. She left with the promise, to check in with me soon.

* * *

I found an apartment, it's tiny, but I don't need much. Finding a job has been a lot harder. I do my best to job hunt for a few hours every day, but nowhere was hiring. I had visited most stores and establishments in Diagon Alley, checked with the Ministry about any entry level positions, but most of those required NEWTS, I even searched in some Wizarding Villages, like Godric's Hollow and Ottery St. Catchpole. I was becoming desperate, I was about to run out of money for rent and food that my mom had given me. I still wanted to hold onto my morals, but finally decided just looking down Knockturn Alley couldn't hurt.

I passed all the seedier joints with my head down. I knew I looked out of place, dressed in slacks and a blazer, but if I did find a place that's hiring I wanted to look nice. I hadn't put much thought into my appearance while I was home with my parents, but the past few days of caring about how I looked had me shocked. Gone were the days of a buck tooth, bushy haired, know-it-all; I actually looked nice when I put myself together and found a small sense of self-confidence I had lost long ago. Granted, the second I stepped into Knockturn Alley all self-confidence was gone. I gripped my wand tighter, not drawing as much comfort from it, as I used to; it's been too long since I'd practiced defensive magic.

I saw a glowing sign up ahead that said 'hiring' and headed towards the establishment, not even looking to see what the place of business was. I was just a few feet from the door, when lithe arms surrounded by middle and yanked me back into an ally. I started to panic and was swinging my arms and about to scream, but whoever had grabbed me was quick and got my arms pinned to my side and a hand covering my mouth.

"Be quiet, girl. Do not attract attention. If the men in there see you, you won't ever get to leave again."

My panic was rising with every word the woman was saying to me, but I didn't know if I was any safer with whoever she was. My back was to her front, so I couldn't even see who had grabbed me. She was leading me back towards Diagon Alley, but stop just short and took me into a tiny building I hadn't even noticed when I walked by earlier. The woman kicked the door shut behind her and finally let me go.

I spun around to yell at her, but was stopped short.

"Listen, I just saved your life and I don't do that often. But you were about to walk into a strip club that caters to werewolves. You probably wouldn't have survived or at the least, wouldn't have left that place without a monthly reminder of your stupid decision."

Whoever this woman was took me completely by surprise. She had an aura of danger to her, but she also just saved my life. And to top it off, she was breathtaking. I felt things that I'm not sure I'd ever felt before. I felt alive in her presence after merely living for so long. I was vaguely aware of her insulting my intelligence, but it didn't even bother me when I felt so entirely indebted to her.

It took too long for my brain to process what she had said and for my mouth to catch up and mutter out an apology, "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention and I saw the hiring sign and I'm in desperate need of a job. Thank you for saving me, how can I repay you?"

"I'm sure there's not a single thing you possess that would matter to me," the woman flicked her curly, dark mane of hair over her shoulder in the haughtiest way I'd even seen someone do. "Just stay away from Knockturn Alley. A girl like you…" she took a moment to look me up in down that felt both condescending and delicious, "doesn't belong here."

"I don't belong anywhere, but please, Ms…"

"Black. Bellatrix Black," that name sounded oh so slightly familiar, but I couldn't place why.

"Right. Ms. Black. I'm Hermione Granger. Please there must be something I can do to thank you for saving me, from an admittedly rash decision."

The woman in front of me looked utterly bored at first, and then something changed and she wore a delightfully manic look in her eyes and she finally drawled out, "weeeell, Ms. Granger, I may have thought of a way to solve issues we both are facing. You have the job."

"The job?" I squeaked out, "what job?"

"You will be assisting me in opening up my new store, a lot of people still do not trust me and considering you are a Muggleborn, you will be the perfect face of this store," she gestured to the small room behind her that I hadn't even glanced at yet, it was filled with boxes and empty shelves.

"I never said I was Muggleborn? Why don't people trust you? Why should I trust you? What kind of store?"

"You didn't have to say you were Muggleborn, it's dreadfully obvious. You're wearing Muggle clothes, I've never heard your last name before. You didn't immediately recognize who I was or my name, so obviously you haven't been in the wizarding world for a while. Darling, you scream Muggleborn. As for your other questions, I think you'll find out soon enough why people don't trust me, but all I will say is I was pardoned, nobody knows the full story and I'm not at all what people think. You can either trust me or not, but I already saved your life, why would I do that if you couldn't trust me? And it's in your best interest to trust me if you want the job at this soon to be bookstore and apothecary."

Normally I would take time deciding if it was really smart to take this position, but sometimes the brash Gryffindor comes out, which may or may not have been influenced by how drawn I was to this woman, "okay. I'll take the job. When do I start and what's the pay? Also, I'm going back to school to sit my last year in the fall, is that going to be a problem?"

"We start now. The pay will leave you more than comfortable, I'm sure. And no, if everything goes to plan, I'll have no more need of you come fall."

My spirits dampened a little at the last statement, for reasons unbeknownst to me I was upset that she could be rid of me without a care, but we didn't even really know each other so I kept my disappointment off of my face.

* * *

The next few days were spent unboxing and organizing everything in the store. The hours were long, but I didn't care whatsoever after she handed me a bag nearly overflowing with Galleons. I was amazed by the sheer quantities of books that were in this seemingly small space. I was even more amazed by the camaraderie Ms. Black and I had developed. She made a lot of comments that hinted at her Pureblooded stances, but she never intentioned them to be mean, it became clear that this is just how she was raised. Beyond that, we had a lot in common, namely our love for books and knowledge. We fell into an easy pattern of arguing about anything and everything, she was always ready to debate something. I had an inkling that she just enjoyed playing Devil's Advocate and simply enjoyed heated discussions with someone who wasn't afraid to hold their own.

Even though we never really talked about our personal lives, I felt like we knew each other well. I started coming in even earlier and staying later, spending every moment I wasn't at home sleeping, at the store. We made a lot of progress and one day she invited me to accompany her to pick up some supplies at various stores in Diagon Alley. I'd never been outside of the store with Ms. Black, but I instantly felt all eyes on us and noticed people crossing to the other side of the street to avoid us. Still, Ms. Black walked straight ahead with her chin raised high, paying no attention to others on the sidewalks.

"Rot in Azkaban, you psychotic bitch!"

I whirled around at the shout and came face to face with Molly Weasley, someone I hadn't seen in years and realized she was directing her foul language at Bellatrix. I automatically stepped in between Molly and Bellatrix and pulled out my wand.

"Hermione is that you? Ron said you left Hogwarts nobody has seen you in years and now you're shacking up with Death Eater scum. She would have murdered you a few years ago, what are you doing? Do you need help?"  
I was stunned silent at these words, until I felt Bellatrix Black, supposed Death Eater scum, lightly grab my elbow and say, "come Hermione, let's leave the rabble in the streets where it belongs." We had never called each other by our first names before, but the instant Ms. Black was threatened I thought of her as Bellatrix and she just called me Hermione and dear Merlin, did I want to hear her say that again and again.

"Good to see you, Mrs. Weasley. Im fine, good day," I spun around to follow Bellatrix once again, but was stopped by Molly yanking on my arm pulling me to her.

"Molly, let go of me."  
"No, I'm getting you away from her, it's for your own safety."

"I am perfectly safe with Ms. Black."

"You could never be safe with her, she is brainwashing you," Molly was sounding more and more erratic.

At that moment, Molly drew her wand on Bellatrix and began shooting off curses and hexes. Bellatrix easily threw up a shield and nothing could get past it. I began to struggle against Molly and right as I dropped free, I knocked into Molly's wand and the curse aimed at Bellatrix, hit me. Everything grew cold and I distantly heard the sound of my knees hitting the pavement. My vision was getting fuzzy around the edges and the colors were dulling. I heard a lot of yelling and curses happening above me and the last thought in my mind was Bellatrix's safety.

* * *

"Hermione, Hermione! Can you hear me?"

I grunted in response. My sense were slowly coming back to me, but the first thing I was aware of was being in a lot of pain, but also feeling someone's delicate arms wrapped around me. I blinked my eyes open and squinted against the bright light, and when my vision cleared up I saw Bellatrix's face above mine, looking concerned. I had never seen her concerned before and it warmed my heart and my face to realize she was concerned about me.

"What happened," I rasped out.

"Molly sent a slicing hex at me, but you fell in front of it. I had only been shielding her attacks before hand because I was afraid of hitting you in the process if I took the offensive, but clearly the Weasel took care of that. As soon as you hit the ground I incapacitated her and brought us back to the store. I did my best to heal you, but you lost some blood. So you need to drink a Blood Replenishing potion."

"Thanks for saving my life again, Bellatrix...sorry, Ms. Black."

"I think we're past formalities, Hermione. Drink this."  
I took what she offered and drank it readily. A lot of the pain diminished after that and all my senses sharpened. Which is when I realized my head was in Bellatrix's lap, I quickly sat up, blushing furiously.

Bellatrix stood up and reached down to offer me a hand up. When she pulled me up, we stood face to face, and as I looked into her eyes I realized they were dark brown, not the black I always thought they were. We both stood there, unmoving, not saying a word to each other. Bellatrix let go of my hand and pushed a lock of hair behind my ear and ran her hand down my arm to squeeze my hand once more.

"Why don't you go home and rest. You're going to need to sleep for that potion to take its full effect. I'll see you tomorrow, Hermione."

"Okay. Goodbye Bellatrix, see you tomorrow," I headed towards the door and turned around once I reached it, "thank you...again." I apparted home and went to get in bed, the whole time in a haze. My hand still tingled where she had held it. I've never felt this way before. I couldn't get the the dark witch out of my thoughts. I was lovestruck. I was alive. I was happy.


End file.
